Intro To Dating

I recently mapped out my potential future and decided that my life would be more meaningful if I had my own family. I could have all the oceanfront property I could ever want and spend my time sailing around the world, but what would be the point on my own? It seemed rather empty.

So, I joined okcupid and found a few matches. Then, I ran into a big problem: distance. I don’t want to limit myself to whoever happens to be nearby, but if my soulmate is in another timezone and she’s not looking for a long distance relationship with someone she’s never even met, which is perfectly reasonable, then that’s it, nothing happens, and I’m out of luck.

This is going to be tricky.

Everything else in my life seems straightforward, I just have to figure out what I want to do and acquire the capital to do it, easy. But relationships? It doesn’t help that I’m a heartless bastard with no romantic experience; or that my main interests are Netflix, reading, and finance; or that I don’t live in a major metropolitan area; but even if I was perfect, how is this supposed to work? It all seems so mystical and vague, it involves emotions and subtlety, it can’t be rushed and it can’t be delayed.

I think my expectations are part of the problem. I hoped to immediately find the one and get married a year later. After all, I’m 27 and trying to move on with my life. Easy right? Why do relationships need to be complicated? Spoken like someone with no experience.

Of course I’m not giving up after just two weeks, that would be ridiculous. I’ll have to settle in and accept that this might be a longer and more arduous path than I had naively assumed. After all, I have the rest of my life ahead of me.

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Intro To Dating

3 Embarrassing Facts

Here are three of the many embarrassing things I’ve done or not done in my life thus far.  Enjoy.

I’ve never had a girlfriend.  I vaguely remember one or two “girlfriends” in middle school, but nothing real.  Nothing beyond sitting with them at lunch and maybe talking in the hallways more.  I wasn’t really surprised when these relationships fizzled out shortly thereafter.  Throughout high school, college, and now, still nothing.  The main reason for this is that I don’t really want that relationship.  I don’t want the social pressure, or the increased demands on my already limited empathy.  I also tend not to be emotionally invested in any relationship, so I can’t imagine that working out.  Essentially, I’m not interested.  I don’t plan on getting married either, so I can’t justify investing in that sort of thing.  We’ll see what the future holds, but as of yet, I haven’t been in that relationship.

I once owned a fake Louis Vuitton scarf.  There was a time in college when I wanted to be more stylish.  This was around the same time rappers talked about Gucci and Louis (they still might, I don’t know).  Winter was coming, so I thought a scarf would be the perfect way to say “look how cool I am, my frivolous scarf cost a wholly unnecessary amount of money.”  Unfortunately, a Louis Vuitton scarf costs between $400 and $900 (for a $20 scarf with “LV” on it).  I found one on eBay for $30.  It shipped from Hong Kong and took about 6 weeks to arrive.  I wore it that winter and got rid of it once I had come to my senses.  I’m still not sure which is more embarrassing: that I wanted a Louis Vuitton scarf, or that I bought a fake one.

I am not registered to vote.  When I turned 18 I couldn’t decide which party to register with.  So I flipped three quarters, if the majority was heads, I’d register Democrat.  All three were heads, so Democrat it was.  I voted in the 2008 election because people kept pressuring me into it.  They’d go on about how thousands had died for my right to vote, and I needed to utilize it.  (Thousands have died for my right to bear arms too, but I haven’t utilized that either.)  Between 2008 and 2012 I changed my party affiliation from Democrat to Republican (another embarrassing fact) because most of my family was Republican, as well as most of the people at church.  So, being the cooperative (read: pushover) guy I am, I changed my registration.  I didn’t vote in the 2012 election because I didn’t want to.  I finally made a decision and held to it this time.  I don’t think that a single popular vote makes any measurable difference.  Especially in Maryland, where the Democrats don’t need my help, and voting Republican is a waste of time considering the Electoral College.  Currently, I am not registered to vote.  It took some effort to undo the process, but I am no longer registered with any political party.  I don’t vote anyway.

3 Embarrassing Facts

Fast & Furious 6

Disclaimer: I know that on the whole, the Fast and Furious movies are not that great.  They’re unrealistic, immature, and ridiculous.  Lets go ahead and put that all behind us for now.

I finally got around to seeing Fast & Furious 6 yesterday.  At this point, I am committed to the franchise, so it’s not like I’m going to miss one.  If I’m honest, I like these movies.  I’m a bit into cars and there aren’t any other car movies out there.  Top Gear UK makes for a great car show, but it’s still not a movie.  If you haven’t seen it by now, I assume it’s not really your thing anyway, moving along.

One of the beliefs I hold is that I can learn something from everyone and everything.  One of the concepts that Fast 6 reiterated to me throughout the film was the irrelevance of monetary success when compared to family and loved ones.  After becoming exceedingly wealthy after the events in Fast 5, the team all buys supercars and retires to various islands around the world.  Life is good, they can do almost whatever they want since they’re all millionaires in non-extradition countries.  But none of that really matters though, in the end it’s not what you have it’s who you have.

Brian and Mia, Dom and Letty, Han and Gisele.  Each of these couples had been through their own difficulties over the course of the film.  Letty shot Dom in the chest, Gisele sacrificed herself to save Han, and everyone almost died several times.  Yes of course “It’s a movie” but the idea is sound.  When Dom called the team all over the world, everyone dropped what they were doing, turned the jet around, and came to help him save Letty.  There was no negotiating, pleading, guilt-tripping, or pestering.  Their material success was meaningless compared to helping an old friend.  It wasn’t even a question.

Of course I’ve heard this concept before, that money can’t buy happiness, and people matter the most.  I just never really agreed with it because, well, I have bills to pay.  But the scene at the end, when they all meet back in Los Angeles for a backyard BBQ (with $1M worth of cars parked in the street), that’s what matters.  It’s the relationships, not the money.  Freedom to spend life with the people we choose to surround ourselves with is the most valuable commodity.

Currently, I don’t have anyone I’d consider to be a friend (not whining, just stating the facts).  And I’m not a millionaire (yet).  But perhaps, while straining to get out of this indentured servitude I find myself in, I could invest more in forging relationships, since I’ve heard that’s more important anyway.

Fast & Furious 6