How To Build Incredible Lifelong Relationships

I stand when I’m around other people, even after they say I’m “making them nervous.”  People who belong sit down and make themselves at home, I hold up the wall and try not to make people nervous.  That’s one of the reasons I’m growing out my hair; to look more approachable.

I identify with Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflower more than I would like to.  Only, I haven’t found an amazing group of friends yet, and now I’m too old.

I even saw the movie alone.  I asked my friend if she wanted to join me, but she didn’t want to see a sad movie.  She asked if I was sure I didn’t want to see James Bond instead.  I was sure.  James Bond is fine, but action movies are just action movies.  A small artsy theater screened the film, and when I walked out to blink in the sunlight I wasn’t sure how to feel.

I finished reading the book two hours ago, and when I leaned back on the couch to reflect, I woke up an hour later.  I’m still not sure how to feel.  I think that group of friends saved Charlie’s life, or at least comprised a compelling reason to live.  I think people are complicated and don’t make sense.  I think life is complicated and doesn’t make sense.

I’m not sure how to write this without sounding like I’m whining, but I’m not, my life is fine.  I have a job that pays, a place to stay, and about a year left on my student loans.  Things are going smoothly and I have exciting plans for the future.  The world doesn’t owe me a damn thing.

However, I don’t have any offline friends.  This usually doesn’t bother me too much, after all, I haven’t had a group of friends since 2002.  But I’m 25 now.  I have grey hair and back pain.  I have bills and obligations.  I have business casual clothes and no idea how to make friends.  I even googled it, embarrassingly.  The colorful infographics suggested I find people with common interests and build from there.  Trouble is, most of my interests are solitary, or online.  I absolutely appreciate my twitter friends, but since we’re spread out, we don’t exactly hang out too much.

I had most of these thoughts two years ago, when I saw the movie, I guess the book stirred everything up again.  Charlie’s letters make me think about my life.

Anyway, I’ve fine.  How are you?

How To Build Incredible Lifelong Relationships

One thought on “How To Build Incredible Lifelong Relationships

  1. Liddle-Oldman says:

    Here from the Bloggess —

    If it’s any help (and it won’t be), I just turned 60 and my only meatworld friends are those from high school — and they carry the relationship more than I do. I just assume I don’t understand primate stuff, and don’t worry about it too much. I think a lot of people who are electronically active are in the same boat.

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