How To Build Incredible Lifelong Relationships

I stand when I’m around other people, even after they say I’m “making them nervous.”  People who belong sit down and make themselves at home, I hold up the wall and try not to make people nervous.  That’s one of the reasons I’m growing out my hair; to look more approachable.

I identify with Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflower more than I would like to.  Only, I haven’t found an amazing group of friends yet, and now I’m too old.

I even saw the movie alone.  I asked my friend if she wanted to join me, but she didn’t want to see a sad movie.  She asked if I was sure I didn’t want to see James Bond instead.  I was sure.  James Bond is fine, but action movies are just action movies.  A small artsy theater screened the film, and when I walked out to blink in the sunlight I wasn’t sure how to feel.

I finished reading the book two hours ago, and when I leaned back on the couch to reflect, I woke up an hour later.  I’m still not sure how to feel.  I think that group of friends saved Charlie’s life, or at least comprised a compelling reason to live.  I think people are complicated and don’t make sense.  I think life is complicated and doesn’t make sense.

I’m not sure how to write this without sounding like I’m whining, but I’m not, my life is fine.  I have a job that pays, a place to stay, and about a year left on my student loans.  Things are going smoothly and I have exciting plans for the future.  The world doesn’t owe me a damn thing.

However, I don’t have any offline friends.  This usually doesn’t bother me too much, after all, I haven’t had a group of friends since 2002.  But I’m 25 now.  I have grey hair and back pain.  I have bills and obligations.  I have business casual clothes and no idea how to make friends.  I even googled it, embarrassingly.  The colorful infographics suggested I find people with common interests and build from there.  Trouble is, most of my interests are solitary, or online.  I absolutely appreciate my twitter friends, but since we’re spread out, we don’t exactly hang out too much.

I had most of these thoughts two years ago, when I saw the movie, I guess the book stirred everything up again.  Charlie’s letters make me think about my life.

Anyway, I’ve fine.  How are you?

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How To Build Incredible Lifelong Relationships

One thought on “How To Build Incredible Lifelong Relationships

  1. Liddle-Oldman says:

    Here from the Bloggess —

    If it’s any help (and it won’t be), I just turned 60 and my only meatworld friends are those from high school — and they carry the relationship more than I do. I just assume I don’t understand primate stuff, and don’t worry about it too much. I think a lot of people who are electronically active are in the same boat.

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