I started researching men’s fashion when I realized that as a 20-something, I should dress a bit more maturely. This was a difficult decision because I’ve received a few compliments on my woot t-shirts, and I’d hate to start wearing boring Adult clothes for no substantial reason. I learned more about hot-weather wear and different types of cotton like oxford, broadcloth, twill, poplin, and madras. I learned that American menswear was heavily influenced by the English, which is unfortunate in the hot and humid summers the Mid-Atlantic experiences. I learned that a pocket square could be used in lieu of a tie, to add color and show that I didn’t forget a tie, I chose not to wear one.
I dress properly for work (because bills to pay) but not when I’m off the clock. Anyway, I thought dressier casual clothes would give me more credibility. We know that people treat you differently based on how you’re dressed and how you carry yourself. I could use a few changes to my advantage.
So I took my mileage reimbursement check and the money I should have put into my Roth IRA this month and bought some clothes instead. I’m not proud of that decision, but I stand by it. Two hours later, I walked out with six wardrobe components guaranteed to make a difference. People would stop and stare as I swaggered past with my well-styled selections. My fashion sense would inspire so much vindictive jealousy that scuffles would break out in the street. Paparazzi would start to follow me around and I’d have to hire a bodyguard to protect my new poplin shirts.
None of that has transpired as of yet, but who knows.