Great Expectations

I haven’t met my own expectations.  I was supposed to be stronger, better, smarter, instead, I’ve let myself down.  I’ve had entirely too many grand plans and potential life-trajectories disintegrate for one reason or another.

I was going to be an Aeronautical Engineer, until I didn’t like math.  Chef, until I heard about the bad hours.  Army Officer, but I wanted some control over my life.  Marines Officer, but I wanted something long term.  FBI, CIA, Secret Service, but I wasn’t qualified.  I enlisted in the Navy, until I thought it wasn’t the best choice for me.  I was going to teach English in China until I needed twice the pay to cover student loan bills.  Navy Officer, until I remembered why I didn’t join the military before.

Police Officer, but I don’t like cops, so I wouldn’t want to be one.  Programmer, but I can’t code.  Travel Writer, but I have bills to pay.  Auto Technician, but it’s kind-of late for me to go to trade school and start over.  Operations Manager, but I can’t afford another degree.  Photographer, but I never got around to practicing.  Micro-Credit coordinator…which I still might do someday.  Peace Corps, but I’m not well qualified.  Videographer, but I don’t have the necessary expensive equipment. 

I was supposed to have accomplished much more by this point in my life, but I haven’t lived up to my own expectations.  However, I’m still alive, which means there’s still time.  I’ve kept some goals and discarded others.

I’m not disappointed.

[Apr 21 Writing Challenge]

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Great Expectations

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