I haven’t met my own expectations. I was supposed to be stronger, better, smarter, instead, I’ve let myself down. I’ve had entirely too many grand plans and potential life-trajectories disintegrate for one reason or another.
I was going to be an Aeronautical Engineer, until I didn’t like math. Chef, until I heard about the bad hours. Army Officer, but I wanted some control over my life. Marines Officer, but I wanted something long term. FBI, CIA, Secret Service, but I wasn’t qualified. I enlisted in the Navy, until I thought it wasn’t the best choice for me. I was going to teach English in China until I needed twice the pay to cover student loan bills. Navy Officer, until I remembered why I didn’t join the military before.
Police Officer, but I don’t like cops, so I wouldn’t want to be one. Programmer, but I can’t code. Travel Writer, but I have bills to pay. Auto Technician, but it’s kind-of late for me to go to trade school and start over. Operations Manager, but I can’t afford another degree. Photographer, but I never got around to practicing. Micro-Credit coordinator…which I still might do someday. Peace Corps, but I’m not well qualified. Videographer, but I don’t have the necessary expensive equipment.
I was supposed to have accomplished much more by this point in my life, but I haven’t lived up to my own expectations. However, I’m still alive, which means there’s still time. I’ve kept some goals and discarded others.
I’m not disappointed.
[Apr 21 Writing Challenge]