The good news is: I finally have a diagnosis for the crippling nerve pain I’ve been experiencing on and off for the past 2.5 years.
The bad news is: It’s kind of embarrassing.
The MRI was clean, which is definitely good news. Some negligible disc degeneration, but supposedly that’s nothing to worry about. The Doctor says that in my case, my lower back muscles get inflamed and press against the nerves. This of course leads to debilitating pain. Because of that pain, I limp and hobble around for about a month at a time. Which leads to consequential damage like swollen knees and hip pain.
To avoid being temporarily disabled for 1 month out of every 3 or 4, The Doctor suggested that I strengthen my core and back muscles.
While I’m glad it wasn’t a real problem, like Bone Cancer, or a Herniated Disc, it’s embarrassing that the solution is: get stronger and stop slouching in front of a computer screen all day.