Here are three of the many embarrassing things I’ve done or not done in my life thus far. Enjoy.
I’ve never had a girlfriend. I vaguely remember one or two “girlfriends” in middle school, but nothing real. Nothing beyond sitting with them at lunch and maybe talking in the hallways more. I wasn’t really surprised when these relationships fizzled out shortly thereafter. Throughout high school, college, and now, still nothing. The main reason for this is that I don’t really want that relationship. I don’t want the social pressure, or the increased demands on my already limited empathy. I also tend not to be emotionally invested in any relationship, so I can’t imagine that working out. Essentially, I’m not interested. I don’t plan on getting married either, so I can’t justify investing in that sort of thing. We’ll see what the future holds, but as of yet, I haven’t been in that relationship.
I once owned a fake Louis Vuitton scarf. There was a time in college when I wanted to be more stylish. This was around the same time rappers talked about Gucci and Louis (they still might, I don’t know). Winter was coming, so I thought a scarf would be the perfect way to say “look how cool I am, my frivolous scarf cost a wholly unnecessary amount of money.” Unfortunately, a Louis Vuitton scarf costs between $400 and $900 (for a $20 scarf with “LV” on it). I found one on eBay for $30. It shipped from Hong Kong and took about 6 weeks to arrive. I wore it that winter and got rid of it once I had come to my senses. I’m still not sure which is more embarrassing: that I wanted a Louis Vuitton scarf, or that I bought a fake one.
I am not registered to vote. When I turned 18 I couldn’t decide which party to register with. So I flipped three quarters, if the majority was heads, I’d register Democrat. All three were heads, so Democrat it was. I voted in the 2008 election because people kept pressuring me into it. They’d go on about how thousands had died for my right to vote, and I needed to utilize it. (Thousands have died for my right to bear arms too, but I haven’t utilized that either.) Between 2008 and 2012 I changed my party affiliation from Democrat to Republican (another embarrassing fact) because most of my family was Republican, as well as most of the people at church. So, being the cooperative (read: pushover) guy I am, I changed my registration. I didn’t vote in the 2012 election because I didn’t want to. I finally made a decision and held to it this time. I don’t think that a single popular vote makes any measurable difference. Especially in Maryland, where the Democrats don’t need my help, and voting Republican is a waste of time considering the Electoral College. Currently, I am not registered to vote. It took some effort to undo the process, but I am no longer registered with any political party. I don’t vote anyway.