the holidays

A few years ago I was at my aunt’s house and after Christmas dinner we called the rest of the extended family to get drunkenly belligerent and yell “Happy Holidays” whenever they said “Merry Christmas.”  We’re a classy group, and that’s how we do the holidays.  Most of my extended family is in upstate New York but there’s a few families in Maryland so we usually get together here.  Mostly because we’re not trying to drive 7 hours through the snow to hang out with a lot of screaming kids, stressed adults, and aloof teenagers.

Although, on Christmas, my parents will be driving up to Grand Island to stay for a few days and celebrate New Years there.  And of course every family member asks why I’m not going too.  My response is that I don’t have the vacation time, which is true.  I got two vacation days this year which doesn’t round up to six days.  I try to explain this and relatives get all caught up and exclaim “Wait, what?  You only have two days vacation?  How is that possible?  You need to get another job!”  To which I reply “Are you hiring?”  I worked retail before this job so the fact I have any vacation time is impressive, and I get screamed at a lot less where I work now, which is nice.

But I don’t plan to take a vacation day anyway.  They fire people a lot where I work, which conveniently scares the surviving workforce into increasing productivity and trying not to be next.  Also, this means that I won’t take a day off.  Ever.  I have bills to pay, and I don’t mind my job, It’s the best real job I’ve had so I’m gonna do what I have to do to keep it.  But I think I’m getting off topic here.

I’m not a real fan of getting gifts.  And I feel bad asking for “a stack of hundreds this high” for Christmas, that tends to offend people.  Whenever I get a Birthday or Christmas gift, I feel guilty and indebted to the giver, as if now I owe them more than before.  As you may have noticed from past posts it bothers me to be in debt, even if it’s an imaginary debt.  Which in turn means that I don’t like giving gifts either.  (This whole thing makes me sound like a terrible person.)  Not just because I’m cheap and didn’t think to make some room in the budget for Christmas gifts.  I also don’t want people to feel like they owe me now, I hate that feeling and don’t want to inflict it on anyone.  I still give gifts though, it’s great to make people happy and show that I cared enough about them to get them something.  And I try to follow Wheaton’s Law.

So what are your plans for the holidays?  Anything interesting?  Crazy traditions?  Hilariously traumatizing memories?

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